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Bored today   
10:10pm 03/06/2002
  I painted my nails blue today, went out to lunch with and talked to Nathan, watched Jawbreaker. That's a really good movie, btw. Nath has a haircut like Chad Christ in it.

We got a lake house! My parents say I can bring anyone I want, girl or boy, so I'm gonna bring Nathan. ;x We'll end up sharing a bedroom for most of it, I'm sure. 'Cause I'm evil like that.

Ugh, what is up with all these drama queens? It's so boring after a while. People who freak out about every little thing really get on my nerves.

Anyway! Nath and I decided to officially go out yesterday. Haven't told Starr yet 'cause he hasn't been home, but I don't care. He'll live; it's not like he cared that much in the first place.

Are my parents just stupid or are they having serious memory issues? I don't need to be ordered around by those morons, nor do I need them reminding me every four seconds to do something. It's on my turf and if it needed to be taken care of, I would have. Yeesh. Fuck off already.

Maybe I won't bring anyone. I don't know; we'll have to see. It might be fun not knowing anyone and just meeting the people down at the lake.

Only time will tell!!
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He's just a boy, I'm just a girl, Can I make it any more obvious?   
11:25pm 01/06/2002
  This is a really good song. Yeah. Watched an old movie called "Kitten With A Whip" with Nath today instead of Spiderman, because Spiderman was full. So here I am. Yeah. He's my skater boy <3 His ex wants him back (she ditched him because she's rich and he's not) and it's . . a lot like the song. So it's appropriate.

Pancakethebunny has NO LIFE. None. If you don't know, Pancakethebunny (I believe that's the name) is a user that posts the online journal of their RABBIT. It's mostly like in []'s (for actions) and actually rarely involves the rabbit doing anything except eating treats and playing in hay. As Ian says--

This Empty Hole: I picture someone like Johnny the Homicidal Maniac, who fed the rabbit twice, and nailed it to a wall, and now has dedicated a journal to it.
Peep says I need to change this. Hmm.   
06:37pm 01/06/2002
  i sing better when i'm silenced
the jangle of harsh steel, metallic keen
stifled by your hands on my wrists

bruises are beautiful.

i don't see anything beyond my iris
a choked flower, a wilted jacaranda
some things never stay serene

don't you dare call me lost
boy you've never even been found

and if i told you that i'd forgotton
everything you meant to me
once, twice, a thousand times your rapunzel
but my hair is chopped and i am weak
so i let you bite my lip and bleed my knuckles
against the brick of your inner walls
a tragedy, indeed.

the hush of sleep tugs at you in the form
of a Sister's smile; abbess mary never
looked so wary
as when she beheld your eyes

a roundabout way of telling me that
"this one is no good"
oh Abbess, oh I know
and look at the way he feeds me
look at the way he breathes me
what can i possibly say
to make myself his disdain?

we play rounds of checkers
unable to tell who is the pawn and the queen
(in drag, darling, you are just that)
chess is out of the question
because you never learnt the game

a machine with jaws
a bone i love to bless and a hip
i love to test

we are sharpened knives
wandering aimlessly in a drawer
full of idealistic spoons

i wear your laces and velveteen
i feel dressed up like your rabbit girl
would you prefer it if i

you're no hawk though you wish you could
hiss down at me
clack your teeth-beek and fix your glower
you'd look ridiculous.

your self-inflicted wounds are greivous
but not so much as the ones you imagine
inflicting upon me

i am not the ivory and i am not the jade
lavishly numinous, i am only your
coquettish fling, your
decadent belle, your

only hope.
Why'd you gotta go and make things so complicated?   
02:57pm 01/06/2002
  EVERYONE buy Avril's new CD. Oh my god. I love this. "Complicated" "Unwanted" "Skater Boy" and alllll of the songs. Yeah.

I'm going to DL today. Hopefully. Not sure. Heh, the title of this entry is how I feel with people a lot of the time. Dammit.

Going to Spiderman with Nathaniel tonight <3 He hates it when I call him that, so I'll only call him that when he can't see ;P Ra, he's so cute. Starr's gonna kill me. This is technically cheating.

And you know, for the first time . .

I don't care.
Will you be my best friend?   
12:43am 01/06/2002
  Talia and Monica decided that instead of "Oh my God" they're going to say "Oh my Kai" now. I don't know how exactly that came about, but it did and it's amusing.

Lori had stuff to do that involved dressing up, and she was actually fretting about clothes. It was extremely surreal.

Yeah. There, Rowan, you have something to read.
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You're very shocked, I'm sure.   
05:16pm 30/05/2002

What Type of Villain are You?

mutedfaith.com /
HELP. ME.   
11:01pm 29/05/2002

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Sparkley green thumb rings   
05:17pm 29/05/2002
  I had an odd, odd day. I tend to get hit on a lot by strangers for some reason, but never at school. And today I did. And it was bizarre. The construction worker guy looked like Mike. I think he thought I was checking him out, lol. He -was- cute but . . uh, like, 22. (Though that's never stopped me before.)

Anyway, so. Today. Last day. Finals. I had a final for 6th period and a final for 8th, so I had like two and a half hours to do nothing. I went back to the alley with a bunch of girls and they got high, but I didn't.. None of them really know how to use the damn bowl anyway, lol. Being messed up for finals would be kinda sucky.

Anyway, I had finals 6th periood and 8th (we get like 2 hours for each one), so I had this big two and a half hour space between them. And me, the girls who were getting all messed up, and some guys I don't really know (but actually turned out to be kinda cool from what I saw), all sat at a table in the front foyer. Yup. And I just happened to have a glowstick in my bag, so this kid Brandon (who owes me a hug, dammit--he was all sweaty from playing hackeysack when he offered so I said no) takes it and breaks it, and after a while of messing with it and making phallic jokes, we decide to cut the top off. I provide scissors, courtesy of the bottomless pit that is my tote bag. We cut the top off and make this other guy, Robenson, taste it. He says it's absolutely disgusting, so Mando (guy; I'm pretty sure I misspelled his name) dares him to drink the whole thing (it's nontoxic, but looks fucking radioactive). He says he's going to if we give him five dollars, so I put five dollars on the table, and he still doesn't drink it. Bah. His loss; I keep the money. Yeah, it kinda went like that for most of it. I think one of the girls there thinks I'm like Mega Flirt now because of the construction workers looking at me all odd (I'm still laughing about that), & she thinks I like either Brandon, Mando, or Travis. And I don't. I hope Starr doesn't read this entry, lol, 'cause he'll throw a fit. He's possessive.

I met this cool cool kid named Nathan today. He's an 8th grader but he looks way older. He nodded at me at the hall and talked to me after school for a bit, and then like we drove by him on the bus when he was skateboarding shirtless (I made fun of him cause we could see his ass) and these fucking annoying girls were catcalling at him. But he ignored them. Ha.

The AB is pissing me off. I have taken care of that place for nearly three years now, maintained it, etc, and these fucks don't even remember me. They're all about Steph, which is great and all, but all she ever does is make snide comments and she admits that.

But, y'know, it's okay. Steph and I are kind of like two halves of a whole idiot.

Yay. Talking to David on phone. Byeee!
Episode II: Attack of the Mallrats   
01:56pm 27/05/2002
  I'm going SHOPPING today!! YES!  
08:53pm 26/05/2002
  This song is so so so so wonderful. The things we do to the people that we love, the way we break if there's something we can't take, the destroy the world that we took so long to make . .

Yeah. I feel like writing.
When she was bad . .   
03:15pm 26/05/2002
  My dad's being a dumbfuck. Yeah. I found a picture of THE COOLEST CAT IN THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE. It's a gremlin cat, named Gremlin, and he's the anime board's mascot. You can find his picture here.

Ooh, and I'm part of the R&F community now. Go me. I need to go work out. Bleh. My ideal weight is 120 or lower and I'm 127. So. Losing that is in order.

I'm bored. Someone entertain me.
Frigidity is a good song   
06:51pm 25/05/2002
  I'm amused by:

People who assume they have any control over me

People who assume they were worth anything to me

People who assume I care

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Waffles and ice cream (hi Mike!)   
02:59pm 25/05/2002
  I officially <3 Jane magazine.

Mrr, talking to Andy. I'm gonna go drive around with Karl and some other people, later. Probably- he still has to call. If not, I'll go down to Nicky's house, kidnap her, and bring her to Shyla's. We can have a girls' night out or something equally cheesy.

Here is God.
All that matters is what makes you happy   
10:02pm 23/05/2002
  I think this song is the story of my life. Ugh. "I swear this one is gonna last / And all those other bastards were only practice." Which is why I'm not dating anymore. I've gotta face it - I get bored too fast. The only person who didn't make me bored fucked my life up. And yeah, it sucks.

Got into a little bit of a fight today with Brennan. But it ended 'cause I kicked him in the balls. Yeah. And then I put blonde and dark brown streaks in my hair. It's kinda Shakira-ish, but I'm told it looks good (my hair is dark red naturally).

Whee, I just discovered that this person-guy I've been talking to online's real name is Jake. Yeah. S' my ex's name, but now-Jake is much cooler and non-psychotic. I think.

I'm going to get so damn high during finals. Rrrr. Sarah and Smiley and some other people (and me of course) are going to drive around in between (we have like a half hour between each final) and do 'that which makes your eyes red' as Sarah calls it.

I am just . . so sick of Ramy's shit right now. He doesn't love Shyla, or if he does he sure doesn't show it. In fact he treats ME like his girlfriend more than he does her. And she puts up with it. And it makes me ILL. ILL TO MY ILL-PRONE BELLY. (Love Jhonen Vasquez. YES.)

I just feel rambley right now. And I'm eating Chinese. Yum.

Go away.
Is anyone surprised?   
11:22pm 22/05/2002

What kind of ANGEL are you?

Quiz made by Angela
I play quiet, waiting for her voice to say   
11:16pm 22/05/2002
  "Some things you lose, some things you just give away."

Mm. Strawberry Gashes is a good song. So's Scared of Girls, though.

Anyway, I haven't been on. Busy. I have finals next week and I'm gonna get reeealllyyy high with Sarah and some other people during them. STARR IS SUCH A FUCKING JERK. But I put up with it. And him. And I don't know why. And I want to sell my cat on eBay. She's annoying.

Anyway. My parents are being dumb, and I need to go sleep my world away.


I think I can taste his blood in my mouth.
You cannot save me, you can't even save yourself   
05:08pm 19/05/2002
  Sunday, bloody fucking sunday. Get these construction workers OUT OF MY HOUSE!

Okay. Love is shit and trash and all that, yeah, we all know, and now that I've finally decided that I'm done with being confused and messed with by the opposite and same sexes . . they're all after me.


On a more cheery note, Stabbing Westward owns. And I have eight days of school left, including finals.

I'm going to rant now, be afraid   
07:38pm 18/05/2002
  Okay. World, I don't care what the fuck your problem is today, but there is no need to take it out on me. I'm sick of this oppressive, do-what-I-want-or-else bullshit, this elitism, this ageism, all of it. It's not even the world - just two or three individuals who have managed to make my day pretty shitty. And if they've got my LJ address, they know who they are. I'm tired of being the one it's okay to ramble your ass off too just because I sit still long enough to listen. Suck up and be nice, please, because no one is going to deal with you when you treat the world like shit because of your own pathetic insecurities - least of all, me.  
01:38pm 18/05/2002
  . . .

I've been sick for the past four days. It sucks. Yepyep. So I am online now, today. Saturday. THEY FOUND A HORNET'S NEST THE SIZE OF FUCKING BERMUDA UNDERNEATH MY BEDROOM FLOOR. It's huge! Like eight feet wide and I am NOT kidding! It's dormant, at least, otherwise we'd have to call in the fucking National Guard to deal with it.

Anyway, so I'm online. Aaron asked me out yesterday. I said no. Relationships and love are bad. I'm never falling in love again, nope nope, not never ever.

Yep. I wrote poetry! YEY. And now I must go do stuff, like make those rosters that Lydia has been bugging me about for the past two weeks.

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The Groupie Strikes Back   
10:41pm 13/05/2002
  Whee. Today was interesting. We decided on the Adema thing and need to find out how much tickets are, etc. And how we're gonna -get- there, since I don't think Jenny has a car and I know me and Bethany don't.